“Pahal” (پہل) (shepherd) + "Gam" (گام) (village) — the village of shepherds.
Jummah mornings here begin not with sunlight
but with the sound of wool
being spun on a yinder —
Mouji라이브 바카라 fingers weaving silence into thread.
There is grief here, yes,
but it walks barefoot,
shadow trailing behind cups of noon chai,
left steaming on windowsills, pink as longing.
How do you explain this to the world?
the most beautiful things
are always slightly broken inside —
like walnut wood with a hidden crack,
or a prayer paused mid-air
when the power flickers out?
They don’t know this,
the ones who only visit in pixels and panic —
how loss grows quietly, like moss
between old stones in pahalgam.
We do not open wounds,
we speak of the Chinar that didn’t turn red last autumn,
how Rifat's laughter sounds thinner now
since her son began to speak
only in whispers.
“Shrinagar is tense” they will say
but in truth, my land is tender, it always has been
the way Baba folds his prayer mat,
pauses between the call to prayer
and the first breath of snow.
There is a boy in Kupwara
writing love letters on the back of ration slips,
and a girl in Pampore
planting zaffran bulbs in silence —
not because she believes in spring,
but because her mouji once did.
They think we are frozen,
but the thaw lives in our very bones.
We’ve simply grown used to
carrying hope in secret,
like dried apricots tucked in
an old khaandar trunk.
There is music in this quiet.
A lullaby in every cracked wall,
our story still softening
beneath the weight of too much being said
and too little being listened to.
But when this chilaye kalaan
finally forgets itself,
as all winters must —
we will not cheer.
We will simply open our windows,
let the light fizzle into dust,
and hang our pashmina to dry
as though sorrow,
she never lived here.
Glossary of terms
Jummah: Friday, sacred day of communal prayer for Muslims.
Yinder: Spinning wheel, traditionally used by Kashmiri women to spin wool.
Mouji: Mother, affectionate Kashmiri term.
Noon chai: Salty pink tea, a traditional Kashmiri beverage made with milk, salt, and baking soda.
Power: usually refers to electricity in colloquial Kashmiri-English.
Pahalgam: Village of shepherds (as explained above)
Chinar: Oriental plane tree, symbolic in Kashmiri culture.
Rifat: someone you know — maybe an aunt, a neighbour, or a mother.
Shrinagar: a common mispronunciation by non-Kashmiris, especially in Indian mainland discourse.
Baba: Father, respectful/affectionate term.
Kupwara: A northern district in Kashmir, known for its proximity to the border.
Pampore: A town in South Kashmir famous for its saffron fields.
Zaffran: Saffron, the precious spice cultivated in Kashmir, especially Pampore.
Khaandar trunk: wedding trunk, a large, ornate chest or box traditionally used to store bridal items, heirlooms, or trousseau.
Chilaye Kalaan: The harshest 40-day period of winter in Kashmir, typically from December 21st to January 31st
Pashmina: Fine woolen shawl, handwoven from the undercoat of Himalayan goats.
